why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
