I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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