I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Two words: blizzard sex
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
