weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
My brain says no but my pants say off.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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