Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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