you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
