I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize