you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
