It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
