Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
