I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Randomize
