I can't watch pbs sober anymore
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
