A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
