Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Randomize
