wat bout pragnant strippers??
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize