tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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