that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
