everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
