i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I just gargled with NyQuil
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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