i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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