How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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