we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
