i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
