he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize