I would go down on you faster than GM stock
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
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