remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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