Buhtt sex?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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