Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize