she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
