pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
