I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize