32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
