She is in my trunk
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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