You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
