I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
