it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
