The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
