Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
