i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
