She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Every concussion has its silver lining
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
