Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Is her dick bigger than yours?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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