And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
