I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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