Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
