The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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