I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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