Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
