Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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