You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
why do cheetos always look like penises
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
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