i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
