i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
