and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
where are you?
Hypothermia
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize