I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
