Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
