I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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