I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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