it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
