i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
