he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
