You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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